Guilty Night
by courtXjester
Summary: Kakashi remembers and wants to forget, but the guilt just won't let him.


I think you can do much better than me  
After all the lies that I made you believe  
Guilt kicks in and I start to see  
The edge of the bed  
Where your nightgown used to be  
I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remembered  
What it feels like beside you

Kakashi swore and rolled in his bed. He couldn't sleep at all. His thoughts were driving him crazy. He stood up and looked out his open window, grateful for the cool breeze that blew against his face. His room felt like an oven even though he was just in his boxers and his blankets were on the floor. Turning his head ever so slightly, he caught a glance of his team's picture. Guilt cascaded through him at the sight of her face.

"Damn it," he murmured gently turned the picture face down on the desk.

I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me

He sighed as his memory began to kick in. He sat on the bed and remembered the day he found her sitting on a tree branch looking pretty as usual and bored. He joined her, pushing to make some room for him-self. The twenty year old smiled as she tried to act annoyed.

"You just have to ask you know," she said smirking ever so slightly. He chuckled and threw his arm around her shoulders.

"I know." He was mildly surprised when her lips connected with his masked cheek. His lips turned up under his mask and both of them disappeared in a puff of smoke.

While looking through your old box of notes  
I found those pictures I took  
That you were looking for  
If there's one memory I don't want to lose  
That time at the mall  
You and me in the dressing room

Kakashi grumbled and rubbed his face with his hands. He violently grabbed the picture and stared at her face. He smiled softly as he remembered the night he brought her home. She was so…young and intoxicating. She had looked scared and excited at the same time as he ran his hands down her arms. She had made him feel great and disgusted at once. He was disgusted at himself at first but the great feeling had won over.

I told myself I won't miss you  
But I remembered  
What it feels like beside you  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me

Kakashi frowned as he remembered the morning he had played with the pink hair that was partially covering his face. He had smiled and then scowled at the young woman sleeping beside him. She was peacefully asleep and her head was lying on his chest. He always had ignored her, and now he felt sick for taking advantage of her. He gently eased out from under her, kissing her tenderly.

"What have I done?" He had thought getting out of the bed. She had showed up at his apartment that afternoon, smiling shyly. Her smile made him feel dirty and guilty. She was too young, too good. When he spoke to her, her eyes widened in surprise.

"Fine," she said softly. She left and he knew she hadn't believed a word he said.

"She always was smart," he had thought closing the door and pretending not to hear her crying.

The bed I'm lying in is getting colder  
Wish I never would've said it's over  
And I can't pretend... I won't think about you when I'm older  
Cause we never really had our closure  
This can't be the end

Lying back on his bed, Kakashi realized he missed her. Terribly. He stood up again and slowly changed. He walked out the door and began jumping rooftops to try and get her off his mind. He stopped suddenly as he noticed whose apartment was across the street. He jumped across and landed on the balcony, noticing the open window, he crept inside. She was sitting awake on the bed, wariness etched on her beautiful face. She stared at him, surprised. He sat on the edge of her bed and gazed at her lazily through his one eye. He removed his mask and took her chin in his hand.

"You're so much better than me," he whispered. He kissed her passionately and quickly jumped through the window. His chest contracted and expanded violently as if his angry heart was going to burst into a thousand little pieces.

I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
I really miss your hair in my face  
And the way your innocence tastes  
And I think you should know this  
You deserve much better than me  
(And I think you should know this)  
(You deserve much better than me)

a/n: song by hinder (I really like this song )


End file.
